Take A Stand: Prevention of Bullying
7 Year Olds – Instructional Guide Day 3
By Sherryll Kraizer, Ph.D.
- To recognize bullying when they see it and their feelings as an observer
- To role-play intervention when they observe bullying.
- To recognize bullying behaviors in themselves
- To act after they have been a bully to clean it up.
Teacher-Directed Discussion and Role-play
Note to teacher: The concept of coaching and being coachable are particularly important with children who have been bullies or who have been victims. Use these role-plays to allow them to see other ways of behaving. If they are resistant, use the concept of being coachable to remind them to use the role-play to try on new roles, new ways of behaving.
Who can tell me about bullying behaviors that they observed at home or at school or on television? Remember, no names.
Have any of you been successful advocates? Describe, no names
What other ways have you thought of to respond to bullies? Add to lists from previous days.
Costs and Payoffs
If I say that bullying is very costly — it is expensive — for all of us, what do you think I mean? We are talking about some of the consequences of bullying.
Who can tell me how you feel when you are being bullied. That would be a cost of bullying in our community?
What do people feel when they are a bully? What do they get out of bullying? They must get something they want out of bullying because they keep doing it? We call that a “payoff?”
What about people who watch bullying or encourage it? What do they feel? What do they get out of bullying continuing to happen? What is their “payoff?”
|Costs of Bullying||Payoffs of Bullying||Payoffs to Observers|
|Physical effects, injuries, etc.||Power||Entertainment|
|Feeling of not belonging||Control||Glad it’s not them|
|Feeling like dirt, worthless||Feeling smarter||Safe because it’s not them|
|Low self-esteem||Feeling tougher|
|Loss of community||Feeling superior|
|Loss of friendship||Getting revenge|
|Loss of privileges||Feeling safe|
|Loss of feeling safe / Fear||Reaction of other|
|Loss of energy and aliveness||Popularity|
|Loss of respect for others|
|Loss of dignity|
|Loss of trust|
|Loss of happiness & well-being|
Are these things worth it — remembering all the bad feelings that come from bullying?
If not, then you need to really take a stand and be an advocate every time you see bullying happening.
RP: I need 5 children to help me. (2 bullies, 2 victims, 1 advocate)
Bullies: You are second graders making fun of these two kindergartners.
Victims: You don’t know why these guys are being mean or what to do about it.
Advocate: Says, “You know better than to pick on younger kids. Stop, or I’ll tell both teachers what’s going on.” Then take the two kindergartners over to play with friends their age.
Discussion: What other solutions can you think of?
RP: I need 6 children to help me. (3 bullies, 2 victims, 1 advocate)
Bullies: You are sitting at lunch stealing food that you like from two other kids lunches.
Victims: You are yelling telling them to stop, but they don’t.
Advocate: Say, “You’re being bullies, stop it.” Then to victims, say “Come on, let’s go sit somewhere else.”
Discussion: What other ways could you handle this?
RP: I need 5 children to help me. (1 bully, 1 victim, 3 advocates)
Bully says, “You’re so stupid, you can’t even remember your name!”
Victim says, “That’s mean, don’t say that.”
Advocate says, “If you’re so smart, why are you acting this way?” “We’re not going to hang around with anyone who treats people this way.”
Discussion: What impact do advocates have on a bully’s behavior? Is this a form of coaching the bully to change his or her behavior?
Asking for Help
What about when your efforts aren’t enough? When do you think you should go for an adult?
Have you ever reported bullying behavior to an adult?
How did you feel about doing that?
If the adult did nothing, how did you feel about that?
I’d like you to pay attention to how you treat other people and practice making up after you’ve hurt someone else.
Think about the following questions:
- Am I ever a bully?
- How does that make me feel?
- Do I ever let myself be bullied?
- How does that make me feel?
- Have I ever seen someone else being bullied and stood by doing nothing?
- How did that make me feel?
- How could I act on my commitment to stop bullying behavior in this group?
Day 4 – Physical and emotional bullying
Day 5 – Resources for help – Asking for what you need
© 2016 Sherryll Kraizer, Ph.D. Used with permission