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Take A Stand: Prevention of Bullying – Ages 9-10, Day 2

Take A Stand: Prevention of Bullying

9-10 year olds – Instructional Guide Day 2

By Sherryll Kraizer, Ph.D.

 

Objectives

  • To establish elements of effective communication
  • To use these skills in role-playing bullying situations
  • To identify their own ways of communicating and the effect on other

Teacher Directed Discussion and Role-Play

Did any of you observe bullying situations since our last discussion?  (No names.)

How did you handle the situation when it occurred? 

What did you say?   (Role-play the situation they are describing as a transition to a discussion of the elements of effective communication.

 

Communication

As you’re practicing how you will deal with bullying situations, you want to be aware of all the elements that affect your communication:

 

ELEMENTS OF COMMUNICATION
  • Say what you mean
  • Eye contact
  • Body language
  • Comfort zone
  • Gestures
  • Facial expressions
  • Voice tone
  • Timing
  • Listening

 

Say What You Mean

The first thing on the list means that you have to be clear about what you’re saying in order to be understood.

You need to say what you want to say.

For example, “don’t,” can lead to the question, “Don’t what?” Whereas, “Don’t make fun of me, I don’t like it,” leaves very little room for question.

 

Eye Contact

Why is eye contact important?  How does someone know who you are talking to?

Ask someone in the group a question without eye contact.

Eye contact effectively says, “I mean YOU.”

 

Body Language

We also communicate with our bodies.  Who can give some examples of how we might speak with our bodies?

Communication is more powerful if what we say with our words is matched by what we say with our bodies.

 

Comfort Zone

How close you are to someone or how far away from them you stay influences the message that is communicated.

Each of us has a comfort zone, a distance that we like to be away from people when talking.

Demonstrate with a volunteer the feeling when someone is too close, infringing on his/her comfort zone.

Could this be a form of bullying?

 

Gestures

What is a gesture?

Gestures are body language that tells us something about how or what the person speaking to us feels.

What do you think the following gestures mean? 

  • Arms folded across chest
  • Waving arms wildly
  • Rubbing hands together or twisting fingers
  • Rubbing neck
  • Shrugging

What other gestures have you noticed or used yourself?

 

Facial Expressions

Have you ever heard the expression, “It’s written all over your face?’

The expression on a person’s face can tell you a lot about how a person feels when they are communicating with you.

At the same time, other people can read what is on your face.

 

Voice

The sound of your voice, the volume, and the speed of your speech all communicate. 

Listen to the sound of your voice in the following role-plays.  We’re going to do some coaching so you sound more clear and effective.

When someone says one thing and means another or they say one thing and something about their voice or body or face gives another message.  This is called a mixed message.

 

Timing

Another important part of communication is timing.  If people aren’t prepared or ready to hear you, it won’t matter how clearly you communicate.

You need to get someone’s attention first, and then determine that they are prepared to listen.

Remember, communication only happens when the other person gets what you meant to say, verbally or nonverbally.

 

Role-Play (RP)

Let’s practice using each of the elements of communication in the following role-plays:

NOTE:  As the group leader, you need to coach the kids through these so their body language, posture, gestures, are effective and clear but not threatening (which only escalates conflicts).  Also coach them to use clear, audible verbal expression.  Work with them to give up sounding babyish, silly, aggressive etc. in their communication.

 

RP: I need two people.  (1 bully, 1 victim with braces)

            Bully:  You say, “You have so much metal in your mouth, you’re a magnet!”

Victim:  How do you respond?  (If the child isn’t sure, solicit ideas from the group. Then coach the child to use all the elements of communication.)

 

RP: I need two people.  (1 bully, 2 victims)

Bully: Say, “You guys are still playing with dolls?  Grow up already!”

Victims:  How would you respond?

 

Listening

What does it mean to listen to someone? 

Listening is what makes communication work.  If you’re not listening you won’t know if the person you are talking to got your communication or not.  You won’t hear their answers, questions, comments, requests for clarification, etc. 

When you’re nervous about a situation, it’s very easy to focus all your attention inside yourself and not hear what the other person is saying at all. 

 

Raise your hands if you continue to be committed to learning another way to get along, to reducing the conflict in your school and home? 

 

Between now and the next session, I am also requesting that you choose to stop behaviors which escalate bullying situations and that you intervene when you see it happening with others.  Raise your hand if you accept my request to do that.

 

Activity

Make a list of all the bullying situations you see on television this week

 

Day 3 – Assertive, passive & aggressive behaviors – what works

Day 4 –  Costs & payoffs of bullying

Day 5 – Preventing emotional abuse & getting help

© 2016 Sherryll Kraizer, Ph.D.  Used with permission.

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Author Dr. Sherryll Kraizer has a Ph.D. in education with a specialization in youth at risk.